warm milk and a jar of onions

2:10 AM and i have just finished perusing the endless listings of insomnia remedies on the web..so many of which i cannot use for medical reasons....i should be EXHAUSTED after hardly sleeping last night, as well as one night earlier in the week....
i was active all day long...labored in the garden for hours in the sun and soaked up some vitamin d- was active indoors the remainder of the day... did NOT nap... exercised...consumed copious amounts of tulsi tea, took my supplements PLUS extra calcium...did not eat dinner late...took two 5htp's and my GNC sleep formula....and one other remedy i will get to later....
wait-was it the avocado pudding?? nah...i ate it before 8PM and it had honey in it which is supposed to help induce sleep... by the way-you REALLY need to have that recipe..i will post it one night when i am in a recipe posting kind of mood... :)
i read quite a few comments on a sleep deprivation forum where insomniacs share remedies and rituals they use ...i'll tell you there was some weird shit there, for sure....one woman said her husband has found it helpful to wear a hat to bed....WHAAAA????
all the articles repeat the same information...go to bed the same time every night- get up the same time every day....exercise...avoid caffeine ( don't use the stuff)...have the room and house as dark as possible/ avoid any bright light ....use relaxing cd's ( i am getting sick of the ocean)...make sure the room is cool....(roger on ALL of those things)....and if you still can't sleep don't lie there too long- get up and listen to relaxing music ( yeah and wake the rest of the house up) or READ....read??? didn't you JUST tell me to avoid light??? how does one read without light??? WTF???!! 

this evening i tried a 'new' "ancient" remedy, read about earlier...allegedly, this has been used successfully for eons ...a jar of onions
yes...you hack up an onion and place it in a jar with a tight fitting lid ... before sleep you inhale the vapors which are supposed to emit something that causes a something-something in your brain that induces deep slumber...well, i could hardly smell the onion- i did not 'cry'....do you think my onion was bad? i breathed deeply, nonetheless....
i did feel sleepy afterwards but that all ended when the 'light' went on in my head.. as if someone flipped a switch in my brain..a shot of adrenaline...whatever the FRAK it is that wakes me up...

we are going to a concert tomorrow night that i have looked forward to enjoying ...wanted to feel good.. look good ( something that is really "iffy' these days since mostly i appear to be about 90 due to the deprivation of proper rest) 
i paid a small fortune for the ticket..an amount i cannot nearly justify in my current financial state, or any, really...ridiculous, i can't believe i did this...
so...i REALLY want to have a good time but i fear, if things go as usual after 2 nights in a row of this...i will be planted in my seat trying to stay awake, providing that my 3 companions have not already had to carry me into the venue and slide me like a bag of jello into the seat... IN THE 4TH ROW....well then, i won't have to be annoyed about the 6 foot 7 person in front of me who is  blocking my view and the one next to him with the hugest head you have ever seen in your entire life , who is blocking my alternate view (or the one behind me who keeps spilling his beer on my head and screaming in my ear).... even THAT close i struggle to see what is happening on stage...rationalization, a beautiful thing.....
 at least i know i will sleep tomorrow night.... it better be worth 200 frigging bucks...
am i out of my ever loving fucking mind??? i have never spent that much money on a concert ticket in my life and never thought i would...i don't care if the seats are in the fourth row!! this is lunacy! that is more than half a weeks pay for me..WHEN I AM EMPLOYED...which i am NOT right now....it's got to be the insomnia...i am not thinking straight at ALL....my mind is mashed potatoes...
geddy lee had better take me out of the audience and serenade me personally and have justin hayward there as a special guest to accompany him....THEN take me out to dinner!!

eh..it is only money..huh? it's replaceable...has a spiritual aspect to it and it is meaningless...i will tell my landlord that one when i can't pay the rent next month....

so currently as i write this, and badly i might add, i am sucking down a mug of warm milk..desperation has set in...all the "info" on insomnia says not to * get desperate* because that just makes your chances of sleep less likely....of course, this is in the midst of an article that tells you lack of sleep can kill you...comforting, no? hence, my irritability and apprehension at even attempting to try again...maybe i should just stay up all night  and read about more remedies...or jump off the roof?...oh shit- it is not high enough...i would just break my legs and that would totally SUCK....but,wait ...pain meds??? hmm..that is tempting....

the onion worked on mark...of course i shared the jar with him- not that he needed it ..he just enjoys the aroma of anything that is food....he passed right out and he is now probably dreaming of a cheeseburger with raw onion....i would love to dream of anything...i cannot remember the last time i had a dream...but i guess that would require SLEEPING......

i do DAYdream alot....about life in tuscany....having more friends....more money....enjoying great health....AND SLEEPING!!!!

i am going to go give that jar of onions one more shot...the milk is empty and my bladder is full..and i have miles to go before i sleep....

 i think next time...if i am unfortunate enough to have a next time...i will try soaking an onion in chamomile tea..add honey and eat it ..then take several valerian capsules and some melatonin...stand on my head and make chipmunk noises, then run in place for 20 minutes..take a hot bath and put lavender under my pillow....after manipulating all the pressure points on my body that activate sleep....

oh and i guess i had better buy a hat....