monkey mind

here i am again... almost 2 AM and cannot sleep, but at 2 PM i can crash like a stone...i think my body-clock is a mess...

why is it that some nights as i try to sleep, my mind starts to work like a dog on just about everything in the world there is...i wonder why people do the insane things they do...i plan meals for the week...think of new recipes to try....remember a bill i have to pay....make new floral designs in my head...get sick to my stomach wondering about the fate of this planet and i wonder what robert plant is doing right now...
as my partner in life is deep in slumber, dreaming of front row rush concert seats and dark chocolate covered cookies,  and i hear the gentle breathing of 4 cats doing what they do best....all in comas...
'monkey mind' is what this is called...
is it hormonal?... maybe it's emotional...perhaps i don't want to miss one second of life - sleep seems such a waste of time...but, when i crash hard into an afternoon nap, i have no choice... i just fall over...and awake aggravated that i wasted the afternoon...maybe the concept of sleep just annoys me ....that's weird...

insomnia is an epidemic in this country...actually, all over the world...there are bed manufacturers designing mattresses that allegedly provide the perfect night's sleep...sleep study groups...herbal remedies...self- hypnosis cd's...aromatherapy...warm milk..a bevy of prescription drugs...and a WHOLE LOT of profit being made on those of us who haunt the wee hours....which brings me to ask the question...is this yet another plot? always the conspiracy theorist, am i....

it *could* be environmental...you see there is this phenomena called global dimming... caused by a thick mass of pollution in the sky which actually blocks the sun's rays ... so we get less sun and less vitamin d ...and vitamin d deficiency causes us not to sleep as well as we should...along with DEPRESSION and anxiety, all kinds of mental illness, bone disease, poor immunity, overweight and is indicated in cancer- just to name a few 'little' things....this is NOT good, at all....
and the lack of sleep exacerbates all those things, as well........

so, yes we can take vitamin d3 ( and it MUST be d3 ONLY) supplements...but it is not 'quite' the same
... this lack of sunlight affects almost every aspect of our lives ..really...google it!



i remember days in the sun as a kid...hours and hours out in the street playing...riding my bike...fishing...swimming in the ocean... i would turn as brown as a walnut and never burn...i got plenty of vitamin d...food was clean...water was clean...
and no one had to take drugs to sleep, think, or be happy...or concentrate on school work or to curb bad behavior...we got whacked on the ass or in the head for that...it worked...

there are times when i feel i really can't take this world, anymore....it seems like a black comedy, full of ugly clowns and beautiful plastic villains...few others seem to care for anything but their own immediate gratification, or what you have to offer them....they can't commit to seeing you too far in advance for fear something better may come up...much less hold a door for you, offer condolences when appropriate, or even remember your birthday.....can i blame this ALL on lack of proper sunlight? maybe to some degree...i would love to... but i just remembered that I remember EVERYONE'S birthday...and think of others before myself, quite often and we all live under the same sun...hmmm....i feel another blog topic brewing there...


i am going to go back to bed and ponder that for the next few hours before i finally drift off to sleep an hour or so before the alarm goes off....i wish someone would PLEASE whack me in the head...

i wonder what meryl streep is doing, right now....probably sleeping...